[THE RELATIONSHOP] Is Online Dating Okay? (Episode #25)

The RelationShop crew discusses relationships seen on reality TV (90 Day Fiancé, Married at First Sight, etc.) and throughout Pop Culture in order to provide good relationship advice that works.

Be sure to send in your relationship questions to TheRelationShop@power77radio.com.

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– – – TRANSCRIPTION – – –

This is the relation shop where we take some things from pop culture and trying to help you out with your relationships on. Toya and I have Jason and area on. If you have any questions to send in, email us at the relation Shop at power 77 radio dot com. All right, we got what I’m calling one of the greatest questions we’ve ever done. This’d from Jared from Lewisville. Right here. So here’s what Jared asked. Is it okay for me to ask for my gift certificate from I hop back after a break up?

I love it, Jared. Yes, it isn t o break up job. Did you just Teoh important? And because Because she already spent it. I mean, the gift. She spent it. As soon as ya broke up, she would be with all the why you asking about the break up? Are we really answering a question about Do get his? I hope you are. I think I figured out why he had a break up. He gave her and I have given me Oh, thank you. Here’s the sequences. Their anniversary.

She opens the gift bag, pulls out the little wrapping paper and then the I want to know what room? A picture of the look on her face when she saw a gift card to say I hop right. Then she’s like, we’re done, but I’m keeping it. I’m going. Come on. Okay, but that does bring up a point, I guess. Well, let me just look for you. Jump in your point, Jared. If, um, I’m gonna help you out, brother, because you’re you’re better than trying to go after the gift card.

Please be better if you just email the relationship of power 77 radio dot com I will personally send you if you give us your address. I’ll personally send you the i hop card for whatever value you had just so you can walk away with your pride still intact. Just letting or have it. No, no, no. You got to set up a breakfast date with this guy because you get so I’m not sitting through a whole breakfast conversation with someone who wants their gift card for my hot back. Okay.

What were you saying about? So I guess it does weaken. Read in a bigger question to this. Okay, let’s talk about that So if you break up with somebody and you gave them a ring, if you gave them a TV, even gave them whatever is a fair game to get that stuff back. You have my French toast combo back, please. Since we broke up, I would say its two sides to that. So the side of the person that gave the gift any time you give something, anybody, you just need to count that is gone like you gift in your heart.

You gave it to them. And that’s just what What about the situation? If she what does she did? So what is she What? What if he gave her a ring and she when she did, I want my ring back. All right, give your mind a look. I’m sorry, because this is the same thing. Like if you if you let if you loan somebody money or let somebody borrows something, All of those things I’m like, just just don’t expect it back if you get it back. Great. But okay.

Now, here’s the other side. The person that actually received the gift, right? So let’s say it is a ring or TV or, you know, whatever that is now if that person knows the child, if you’re no longer together and I still have the gift you gave me, you should want to give it back. I don’t want to hold on. I don’t want to hold onto anything from somebody I’m no longer without. Want to hold onto those possessions so I can fully move on? You know what I’m saying?

So I think, Yeah. And it depends on what is obviously TV. Keep the TV, come on them. But when you’re talking about an engagement ring I gained just trying to wear that around. That’s a symbol of the relationship where lots of other stuff is just a gift. And it’s not a get I didn’t lend it to you. Yeah, I gave it to you. I’m not the library and check it out and you got turning back in. I gave it to you, so I would say a teacher heard Jared.

The gift card is gone. Buddy. Denny is a different story. Start putting in the rooty tooty fresh and fruity way back that I just went to IHOP last week for the first time. No, is it was It was so I guess it’s fair to say I have not gonna be a sponsor now. It was You know what? I have a confession, though. I do. I have a confession. You know, um, I actually proposed to me and I ha is that when they renamed it Rooty tooty fresh.

I know, but I wear your life. Will you be my fresh for your life? I want to see you. I mean, literally. We were just sitting there eating, you know, eating breakfast. And he was just like, we’re getting married this summer. I mean, that’s pretty much how it was. The puzzles. Don’t think he got down on his nearing thing. I know that I was a whole. Another thing was he inspired by what undercooked bacon would have what motivated him at the time, he had just gotten saved, so he it was He had just finished the New Testament, and he’s just like, we’re not shocking no more.

We get married. This summer was at the time. He said, but can you pay for this breakfast, baby, did you say Listen, if I say yes, will you no longer take when we’re married? You’re not taking me IHOP for dinner. Right Way actually, have not been. I have now. We prefer Waffle House or original Pancake House, she says. She said it like it was a big step up has so much smoke. When I goto Waffle House, not only get a wallet, I get a buzz from all the second.

You know what happens when you ask for non smoking? They bring it to your car like the walls are yellows, all the interior walls through the answer dares question way covered it with covered and we covered. Listen, at the end of the day, a gift is not something that you expect to be returned. If the relationship ends now, ring might be a little bit different, but again, you’ve given it to them if they don’t want to give it back. Tough luck, Chuck. Yes, you do get the award for the one of the best questions we’ve had in a while.

So way to go, Jared get that’s what I’m talking like. Yeah, for any more questions or concerns and those into the relation shop at power 77 radio dot com and way we talked a little online dating way. We’re gonna cover a number of things. If you’re watching or listening today, I guess. And you’re wondering, Is it okay for a Christian to do online day? We’re gonna cover that. We’re going to get to that. We’re going to tackle some of the different APS. I think Toy has a little mystery.

Guessing game for Jason. I talk about online dating some of these shows. So we gonna jump in with that once you kick us off way. Had a little game, so I’m gonna actually. So what I’m gonna do is we have some Assam dating acts that are out right now, right? So some some really popular ones, and they actually have niches, so I didn’t really Well, I guess I knew. Like, I can’t give it away. I can’t give away. All right? I’m just gonna you My disclaimer on the front is about married for 25 years.

I, like, heard of some of these, but I don’t really know these. So this is a tough I got you on that. If you if you were on farmers, only dot com Analia. But that’s what I’m talking about right now. Every time when I’m in Oregon, visiting the in laws. Those commercials are they still there? Still on whatever my father law watches. Whatever the channel he wants is the head, like the Gators playing. And all those city folks just don’t understand what you are doing. All right, All right.

So I’m going to give you a list right now of some APS get who is designed for the rich. Okay, so here are the app. So first up, we have tender. Okay, there’s one. The 2nd 1 is plenty of fish. Okay. Match Bumble Bumble harmony. Okay, All right. Now, so that those those are the ones that we have to guess who it was designed most full. All right. And I’m gonna listen. I’m gonna list those niches for one try to go for So here we go. Which one is best for quick and easy hookups?

Tender tender? That that I know. Eric told me in a way. Always hear about people swiping on right and that kind of stuff. I’m glad you gave the category because I was thinking we have to make it up outside of that time for men are just gonna be easy. Then I got well, Joyce Yeah. Yeah, I got that. It will best for quick and easy. It is tender. Jason uses Ashley Madison. They get that. That is not okay. All right. Next up. Best for someone with money to spend.

Let me name him again. Now you have bumble plenty of fish match and e harmony money. I feel like e harmony. That’s why I’m gonna go with match on that. Okay, I go. You harmony. Thank Jason. Uh, that for two. All right. Best for confident women is a confident women. I’m going letting you guess. Problem Bumble on now? Yeah, it’s Bumble. I was hoping you’d get something different. Bumble was designed for for women Mawr, like they have more choice in it, I’ve heard was designed more for women to be able to be selected.

Like I think the women has to decide on the match before they will be contacted or something. A little inside knowledge. I was hoping Jason with miss s, I catch up. All right. Next one. Best for conversation. Harmony? Yeah, Ive harmony on that one. Really? That would be plenty of fish. I forgot about that. That we only have one life. Who? What is plenty of fish. Is that like a Christian? One of, You know, I don’t think that’s Christian conversations. That’s what I could tell you about, right?

Yeah. And then the last one is the easy. So I had to say that for last. Best for marriage seekers. With all of their one million and two questions. So I can see you one, my friend. You are much more up to date on how to pick up chicks online. Apparently very wife happy that’s you. Wear your bubbles proud. Do what? I gotta dio Speaking of acts, have you heard about that new European app where, um, the they’re able to rate each other like like the date.

So, like, let’s say a guy goes out on the day, and then the women are able to write him on that app. Yeah. Wait. See how others have rated them? Yeah. Then he’s been on the oh, man called one. So this work ways of men, right? The women, the women right, demands on that is everything. I don’t know more inside, doesn’t it? That’s good. I’m telling you, my X rated me. It wouldn’t x rated created. Listen, way, things you put a rate on me, it would not be pretty, but I mean, it was true.

There’s the other side of the coin, which was Yeah, but I would like to know that four women rated this due to fool before you will out with the dude. But now you’re talking about the crazy person out there. That’s if you didn’t do anything wrong. You just decided this was not a match. And now they fatal attraction. That’s my thing. I don’t I don’t like it for that reason. Just because you have a one bad day. Well, one person, it doesn’t mean you’re not gonna hit it off with the next parson eso maybe.

Listen, it was a call once went, If you’re listening, once I got some ideas on your algorithm, maybe you could bring me on as a consultant. But what if there has to be, say, 3 to 5 ratings of the same kind before you publish it? So that that that gets rid of the one crazy dude or girl that just blast you because they got their feelings hurt. But if I’ve got three ratings that are all low or high, then you posted. You know, if you get a chance like it, you get a rebuttal.

Can you go back and say Wait a minute. I think I know. I mean, there you go. Want let me re bottle? At least. Okay, but then I ain’t got time to read all that. It is. He said She said, if I good to you, guy Anderson, if you got three bad rankings, I’m thinking at some point now, the problems you you can’t be like, Well, there’s three of them happen to be crazy. And they all are against me. Okay, well, I want That’s interesting. I like I like the I like the attempt right.

Had given you a little more feedback. So good on you. That United Kingdom or what? Are you here today? Yes. Now. So, like the top dating site in Europe right now? Okay. Okay. Apologize for throwing all that tea in the Harbor UK. Just our apologies. Well done, Jason. This will be a perfect time for your British accent. If you have been working on man, I gotta We gotta work on that. Cirio can’t do that with all this seriously. That just based it out on your own these days.

Speaking of dating. So that’s what our whole 90 day fiance is. I mean, it’s like the old school version of me. Remember MySpace. Check out my my music page on MySpace mixes on there. You want me people in my space. Of course. Now we still have everybody mean people on Facebook Would you were a lot so that we meet each other? Um, I g on instagram their meaning and I mean just every sliding into your diem’s. I always hear that phrase nobody’s ever slid into mind, so I don’t know what that means, but I hear I hear a word.

And that’s what I hear. Jason does absolutely nothing at it down. You know Dia with a direct message. I think a day say, Here’s the good news. If no matter how bad life gets, at least you don’t have IHOP gift cards with you on that. So So we’re gonna Teoh before I decided I have. I’m going here’s got some more issues. If he’s really one, that I have but a story. All right. So I do have I see how good you guys do on this, so I found a few stats way with the APP questions, Jason, but I need to come up with my cuisine.

I mean, you did so bad on the last week. That would give it a shot. All right, All right. So let me ask you. So, what percentage of Americans do you think? Do the online dating thing, Uh, do away with the Oh, no. I’m ago 37. Pretty 40%. I out of the 40% more men are more women on more Moorman Moorman on it. I was gonna say women. All right, Well, it’s more manage. All right, So, out of the characteristics that people are looking for, right, So 64% of the people that go onto these sites looking for what?

I even give it multiple choice on this. Are they looking mawr for that attractive look? Looking more for some for something that comes someone that has something in common with. I think they’re gonna say they’re looking for somebody with common interests. But you know, dang well, that there’s pictures on there, so they’re really looking. If I think they’d say common interest. All right, All right. I agree. The answer is common in the way we were kings that self deception have aligned yourself. Okay, Then why don’t we do a site with no pictures and only common interest?

There you go. I got one before you. One more 53% of the people lie on their dating shock right by on this dating and profile thing. So what the women lie about most and what demand lie about most, Uh, go ahead. What do men lie about, man first lie on their profile. What are they lying about the most? Their height. Okay, so that was a I would say I would say, their financial situation, job or money. It is about money. They want toe Teoh Totally crazy. Because if I’m gonna lie, I’m gonna make you think I’m poor.

And then if I’m not a doughnut, ain’t nobody gonna day to before the one who does you from there. You know, you got you got you got someone who didn t o today. All right, So what about women? Whether they lie about the most looks and wait Oh, yeah. Looks and wait. Wait. And why is it that they’re number go back cause you said is more men that are doing online dating right s. So is that because it all started with back in the day, the mail order brides?

Is it like in the d n a t I was looking for? Yeah. Yeah, that’s a good question. That they say, Yeah, I wrote a bride. I don’t know. Yeah, I think they do. What? I was thinking about that. What was that? That one site. What is that guy on the one guy Monte Dei Filipino. When you hear that you’re specifically looking for that. Like Sugar Daddy websites. You see that on TV? Everyone’s way got, like, those college girls that are getting stuff pay for marrying millions.

Remember, they met on one of those sites where he was a rich man for a woman? I think it’s always been there, but I’m still stuck on Jason. Talk about people lying, which reminds me of catfish going on. So that whole catfish and think that’s where I’m like at this point. Anybody you’re talking to online, there’s a high likelihood that damn you ain’t Kim, because I don’t know because that’s what they talking about with the women that most women used pictures that air years earlier when their skin and I something.

We’re messing with me years earlier. I use pictures of Jews who ain’t me. Who were I work out. She was hooking up with him and then for some. Yeah, now she went in m and M. But, you know, I do like to do with a good body and then put my head on it Don’t matter if the shade of the face and different about your head you’re eating paste on a different body before your body. Really? Did I do that when I did that job? Oh, really?

You can Your body don’t look like Denzel. Yeah, that’s weird. Oh, yeah. My blossom weight says says that when I was in competition mode back then like, Okay, And that actually reminds me a Darcy when she when she met the first boyfriend. Not the British guy, but the other guy from just just so I don’t know if you were watching it back then, but was before they first met and she was showing pictures that she had sent to him online, and they were pictures of her, like from 10 years before and when he finally met her.

He was a slight. Okay, here’s, you know, about online dating If he or she seems too good to be true, Yeah, there could too. Good to be true. Like true. If if you happen to connect with somebody, that seems like everything’s great and they got it all together. I’m saying to myself why they are lying If if they’re that great of a do right, they probably got a ton of women in the town they actually live in at the places they actually go who would be interested in relation.

I’m like, if if you’re all this great, then why are you trying to find someone in a different country online right there? That’s a red flag there for me. There’s something I just I happen to like, you know, Peruvian women. Come on, bro. Nobody back home likes you. That you? Yeah, exactly. And it’s like with a lot of these, you know, I guess on the shows that were watching. So, like with the American, it’s like America. And I’m notices with the men because, you know, they’re just like, oh, I tried dating American women and it just doesn’t work.

So it’s like So what are you trying to say about other like American women are just too strong and you have, But it’s like a woman is a woman. I don’t hear that they’ve gotten away from a little bit. But 90 days started out where it was 40 50 year old white guys going out of these 19 year olds. That’s why they were not going, that I actually saw the show a few days ago because because I was amazed at that Nigerian dude and that white lady was stolen. Angela, I love that you’re white trash like I only saw part of it, but I saw another couple and it seemed like the lady was maybe some South American country, and they were at a bar with the dude that she was with and his brother and maybe his brother or something.

But it was It was funny where she was saying something like like he lied to me. I didn’t bring any clothes here because he told you, Loathe, who’s got no money. And then she says, and he’s like, No, I don’t lie And she’s like you did. You told me you had three kids and I got here. And you had five. My favorite. My favorite line of the whole thing was the brother pipes up and he’s like, I feel good. Your brother got five. Give. You got seven way.

Don’t know. How many have you, Mom? Is that right there? The girls should have got up and said, That’s all I need to know. You got five. You got seven. I anything, but that’s not. But that is the same girl that wanted a threesome, right? Is that a girl? Said you lied. She was one. A threesome. Yeah. Yeah. That was also the guy that the guy she’s talking about that is, is, I guess, is one of his kids Mama’s? She’s the grandma. That’s important. So a couple?

Yeah, I was in. I’m out again. No, you got You got just the foolishness of the brother to try toe act like his brother. Well, he got 57 like that. So what? They’re playing poker. I want to lean in the show. Said, Hey, both you ladies, please just get up and leave, like seven kids. Yeah, I mean, that girl was the least right. She’s like, I’m not up for five kids. If you told me you had five kids, I would have said I’m not exactly so short did.

All right. So in case you’re just joining us, we are talking about this online dating stuff, right? There you go. All right, So you did tease us a little earlier, but is it okay, so his home, there’s a Bible verse in second hesitations that speaks exactly to clearly there’s no way gotta talk. Principal. Right? So here’s Here’s my personal thought just because it’s online, I don’t think it’s now inherently evil or bad, right? It is. Online is an environment in which you can meet and connect with people.

So I don’t see how that’s different than the college classroom. How that’s different in your work environment, how that’s different. It’s a place where you can go to meet people. So what I would say the people who are thinking about online dating here would be the rule that I would have if I was having to do it. Um, I would pick one site, and I would set up a profile on that one side, and I would pick that site for whatever reason you did. We just labeled a bunch of which ones are better for which would choose which one matches best.

When I’m looking for set a profile on that site, I would give myself a period of time. I’d say I’m gonna do this for whatever three months, four months, And I’m going to see if this is a place where I can meet somebody and make some friends and maybe find somebody that I can engage in a legitimate relationship with. So I think when you start getting multiple sites, multiple profiles and there’s this ongoing never ending date, I think you’re getting in a bunch of mess that’s gonna end up bad because what you’re saying if you do it for a period, time is I feel like I’m emotionally healthy and in a place where I’m good for a relationship.

Let me try for a period of time to meet some people ever done work, then just stop for a while and let me let me ask you this. What do I give up if I go? You know what? I’m doing the online dating thing versus I’m just gonna go meet somebody. Whatever I think that given the hard part is now where do you where do you meet him? Because most got married. You know, kind of either met in college or you meet on your job. So I’m thinking, like, right right now?

Yeah, but, you know, you probably don’t want to meet, depend on what you’re looking for. Oh, is that where you met you? You That that’s a fathered a love story Should write a book on that. A Mother Day love story. Very to Burger King Club. Hey. Yeah, So I think, Yeah, I think if you start doing it too many places all over the place, but I think just think, yeah, you got where? If you’re not club in, so you’re gonna meet somebody at work or maybe church and where else do you go?

So that’s why I say I don’t think it’s inherently a bad place to meet people. I think you need to put some limits on. And then let’s talk about if you meet somebody and connect with them. I think if you think this is somebody that has the potential of turning into a marriage relationship, then because of the online nature you want as quickly as you can get introduced to each other’s riel communities. So if I found someone that I really connected with, I want to quickly have them meet my friends so my friends can weigh in and I want to meet their communities.

So I know what I’m getting into these people that have these ongoing relationships online. And then maybe in person, every once in a while, for six months a year, they get so wrapped up into it before they’re really able to figure out who is this person. Where do they come from? And I see you making a lot of mistakes sometimes because you don’t really know who’s who they’re around. I mean the community. I got to meet you to see that you’re £215 now. I’m assuming that’s happened. Yes, one community I can fish so but yet you know the dangers off is one.

Yeah, you can’t tell if they’re lion. That’s why you want to get around them in their community, in your community, pretty quickly to take care of that. I think the other thing is, you know, dependent. If people are gone a bunch of sites and online all the time. I’m gonna put two and two together. You maybe not only looking at a bunch of women on dating sites, but you’re looking at a bunch of women on other sides to a person you want, and you need to do a little little trolling yourself to CEO.

10 different dating sites A little. Come on, mate. You just out here trying to hook up. Yeah, it is not just going to stop on its own. Yeah, so I think it’s fine. I would set a period of time. I would pick a site or app, not multiple APs. And if you find someone to meet somebody that you feel like his potential, I want to quickly get our communities connected to one another and around each other. So I got more eyes than just mind on this. That would be my my approach.

You know everyone. So I have a good one. And that reminds me of another couple, the one that’s on 90 days right now. So the guy in California, the black guy that’s a rapper and then his girlfriend personality that flew in from Finland, she But it does not like his friend. She doesn’t want to be around his friends, and he’s trying to force her to be around his friends. And this is like, Look, if your fiance don’t want to be around your people that this is really somebody want to spend your life with I mean, like, Okay, look, she is so dry.

She is so So they say that that’s what they say. Finnish people are like. Maybe that’s just the business culture wants around friends, but she’s pretty. So I guess it’s a pretty girl he ever dated. When when a man dates the prettiest girl he’s ever dated, he does things he never does that give. You have questions and nose into the relation shop at Power 77 Radio, and you will hear from us again next week. Yeah, juices

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